RELATIONSHIPS IN THE CHURCH- 1 TIM.4:12-16

There is a sense in which one might say all the world's problems are human in origin. Difficulties at the factory more often center around personnel than machinery. It is a little different in the Church. For that reason, Paul now addresses the subject of the relationships in his letter to Timothy as pastors at Ephesus. To be effective, he must set a good example before them and relate to the various groups in the church as a genuine Christian gentleman.

Order of relationship priorities are as follows; Our relationship with God, Our relationship with self, Our relationship with spouse, relationship with family. If the minister is to succeed as a church administrator, he must take care in his relationship to the membership. He will gain the respect of the people more by correct conduct than by lordly command. Paul told Timothy to give no one any occasion to despise his youth. Many in the church at Ephesus would be much older than Timothy. The elders he worked with were probably older. Some of his critics and the false teachers he must discipline were too. Sometimes people fail to understand that gifts from God for ministry are as important as experience; therefore, they tend to give the younger preacher less respect than they should. In his daily conduct, Timothy must counter this tendency. He needs to be a model for believers in speech, overall behavior, love, spirituality, faith and purity of life. Timothy's example for believers needs to extend in the area of Christian service by public reading of the scripture, exhortation of believers and teaching of converts. He also was to use his gifts well for ministry as indicated through prophetic utterances at his ordination. He must not neglect his call to preach the gospel. The Lord called and equipped him for pastoral ministry. Careful personal attention to the preacher's spiritual advancement is necessary first for his salvation. However, by being a prayerful student who faithfully communicates God's word, he will also contribute greatly to the salvation of others who hear him. Paul desired Timothy to live so that his progress in the faith would be evident to all.

Not only should the young Timothy be an example to believers, but he must also use wisdom in relating to various age groups in the church. First, he must never rebuke an elder (older men in the congregation) openly. It is never pleasant to correct a fellow believer. When necessary, in the case of older men, young Timothy is to entreat them as fathers; where it involves a younger man, the minister must entreat him as a brother. In discipline and all other matters relating to women, Timothy is to respect them as mothers. He must regard younger women as sisters in associating with them in the purest of motives.

Working closely in the church with members of the opposite sex has sometimes led to immoral involvement that has ruined lives and ministries. Paul therefore advises that we are to treat others in the church as members of our families; thence we will not be tempted to get involved in immoral involvements with them. What is true for minister-member relationship is also applicable to member-member relationship. A degree of dignity safeguards wholesome association among Christians.

Paul also instructed Timothy to show care for older widows in the congregation. He is to honor them with common courtesies due them; he should also see to it that their financial needs are supplied. Paul command that family members have the first responsibility of supporting widows. Children, grand-children or other members of the family have this duty to perform before the church comes in to help. Christian relatives need to first act at home in this matter. Anyone who fails to provide for their own, conduct themselves worse towards loved ones than most unbelievers do. They should take care of their aging parents and thereby repay a debt they have owed since infancy.

 Only when the widow is desolate or without living relatives should the church take up the responsibility. Even so, she must meet specific requirements to qualify for aid. First, she is to be a devout Christian who trusts in God with prayers day and night. The pleasure loving person though a believer, does not qualify for full-time support from the Church. The main ministry of the church to such widows is to remind them that the one who lives in pleasure is dead spiritually though alive in the physical.

Further, to qualify for permanent assistance from the church, the widow must be no less than sixty (60) years old. She must have flawless marital history, having been the wife of only one husband. She could not have been divorced and remarried and children born to her must have been trained in the ways of the Lord.

The worthy widow must have diligently followed every good work. In the days when she could afford it, she must have aided the needy people herself. She must have been hospitable in entertaining strangers.

Paul's rules says widows under 60 years were not to be enrolled for full time financial assistance from the Church. Indeed, the congregation might well offer temporary relief for such needy persons in its membership. The church might even do that for destitute person outside its ranks, as Jesus commanded- Matt. 25:34-40. The energies of the young widows will likely be spent in wandering from house to house meddling in the affairs of gossips, for this reason, the apostle advises that the younger widows remarry. It is wholesome for them to have the challenge of motherhood to work the right path in life. They do well to engage in the creative business of managing a household. This is a noble calling. Remarriage removed the temptation of prostitution and illicit living so that the gospel  would not be reproached.

Another area of concern in promoting harmonious relationship is in honoring leaders. This includes selecting, disciplining and giving adequate remuneration. All church leaders should be given due respect, even those who serve part- time and without salary.

Some factors need to be considered in setting fair and adequate salaries for our ministers today and they include ; Age and Experience- A pastor who has spent many years in the effective ministry should be rewarded for those faithful service, Family needs- A young and a growing family will have greater needs than an older man whose family is already grown, Living costs- The cost of living varies greatly from one part f the country to another, Financial resources of the Church- Churches cannot pay beyond their financial abilities. Paul's advice are wholesome as the Old testament prohibits a farmer from working an animal without feeding it.

A much less task of Timothy was disciplining Church leaders. It should be done with due process to ensure justice.  For guilt to be established, any accusation against an elder must be supported by two or three witnesses; since Church leaders sometimes have enemies without just cause, the safeguard is especially needed for elders. When guilt is well established, Paul says the sinning elder is to be censured publicly. Discipline is to be administered with due respect for all that is involved, there should be no partiality.

Finally, the apostle says Timothy should examine carefully all candidates for ministerial services before laying hands on them to ordain them. Relationship affect how we get along with our spouse, family and relatives; they regulate our dealings with neighbors and friends, fellow workers and business partners. The only way to maintain good relationship with these people is by maintaining good and upright relationship with Jesus Christ.